By Holley Gerth

I have a confession to make. Christmas cards terrify me. That might not seem like such a big deal, except that I’m a professional greeting card writer. Forty hours a week I spend my time creating cards that help people communicate. But there’s something about staring at a Christmas card and trying to decide what to say to the people in my life that’s still just intimidating. I thought if this is such a challenge for me, and I do this for a living, then perhaps I’m not the only one who gets stumped this time of year (if I am the only one, just humor me). So I put together what I like to call the “Writing a La Carte” menu. Think of these tidbits as simple ways to fill in your Christmas cards (or any time of the year when you’d like some choices for what to say in a note or letter). 

Compliments
As kids we were told, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But too often we do have something very nice to say-we just don’t know how to say it. Compliments are first on the menu because they can stand alone or be a great appetizer for whatever comes next. When it comes to compliments, you just need to know three little tricks.

Simple
First, keep it simple. Pick one thing you like or appreciate about the person you’re writing to and focus on that. Besides, once your first compliment is complete, you can always go back for seconds.

Sincere
Next, remember to be sincere. Whatever you say, be sure you really mean it. But don’t worry about sounding like a schmoozer if you are being heartfelt. As Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval say in The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, “If you’re concerned that a compliment will come off as phony or patronizing, then almost certainly it won’t. The very fact that you’re worried about it means you aren’t a slick glad-hander, and you won’t come off that way.”

Specific
Finally, make your compliment specific. As a greeting card writer, my job is to write messages that sound personal but can be sent to almost anyone. When you write for someone in particular, you get the treat of being able to be truly specific, which can be more meaningful. So instead of saying someone is special, tell them exactly what that means to you. Perhaps the bright smile your coworker gives you when you bump into each other really perks up your day. The more specific you can be, the more heartfelt your words will seem. 

News
After choosing a great compliment, you can move on to the next course. When thinking about news to share, just remember the saying frequently used at weddings-something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

Something Old
First, think back to the past for news. If there’s something your friend or family member hasn’t heard yet, bring them up to speed. The job you started last April might still be news to the person you’re writing. 

Something New
It can be fun to share the latest scoop. Maybe you just found out you’re pregnant or are moving to a new city. Include the latest and greatest to add a little spice and excitement to your writing.

Something Borrowed
Sometimes you can also borrow news from someone else. For example, if a mutual acquaintance just got engaged, you could drop that tidbit. You want to avoid gossip, but sharing information about someone you both know can be a way to connect.

Something Blue
Finally, it’s okay to share something blue. We can sometimes feel as if sad news isn’t appropriate for the happy holidays. But if you’ve had a significant loss or tragedy in your life, it’s okay to mention it if you feel comfortable doing so. Things like the loss of a job or family member are important, and the people you care about (and who care about you) will probably appreciate knowing.