On James Dean’s Blue Jeans

Interestingly, the clothes in my closet that I love the most generally end up being the ones I purchased at second-hand or antique stores. Most women don’t realize that they don’t have to have expensive clothes in order to look chic and polished. Pair a plain white T-shirt and jeans with a cute belt and a pair of red heels, and voila, you have subtle and beautiful style. Take your general work uniform, like a pair of black dress pants and a blue button-up shirt, and add a scarf with a bold and friendly print with a matching bag, and you have style. The style is in the details, and the subtler and more unique the details, the more the outfit becomes high-fashion.

Many women think that in order to be fashionable, they must embellish. A few years ago, these large, sequined bags were in style. You know the ones: the gold and silver bags with sequins shining out from all directions, the kinds that reminded you of disco balls. While these bags were a significant trend, you see other things on real fashion icons: simple things that play up natural beauty. A good leather belt. A white tank top. A red leather bag. Black stilettos. These are significant items which separate Fifth Avenue from the mall. Once a friend and I were watching an episode of America’s Next Top Model where Queen Tyra admonished one of her Models-in-Waiting for wearing a tank top with bright pink sequins along the bust line. The model hopeful thought the sequins were cute, but they really cheapened the outfit. In all honesty, the tank top would’ve looked classier without the sequins. The sequins dated it - A.C. Slater’s pleated, stonewashed pants vs. James Dean’s straightforward blue jeans. James Dean is sexy even today. A.C. Slater just looks ridiculous, Preppy.

Unless you have a funky vintage style, an eye for fashion, or patience, patience, patience, you will find few clothing items from chain thrift stores like Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc., but your major goldmines lie in three departments: Purses, scarves, and jewelry.

Beware though, that wearing too many accessories is a fashion sin that women often commit. I’m not sure who began this mantra, but now it is a widespread fashion rule: Before you leave the house, remove one accessory. Sure, the necklace, bracelet and earrings that your mother gave you for Christmas all match, but that doesn’t mean you should wear them all at the same time. They are like Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Lindsay Lohan. Alone in a room, each one of these girls will attract a lot of attention. But put three socialites in a room together, and they are bound to start rivaling one another.

My personal recommendation is that you keep your jewelry to one or two pieces. And if you choose to wear two pieces, make sure they are in far proximity from each other, i.e., a necklace and a bracelet rather than earrings and a necklace, especially if the earrings dangle. If you wear too much jewelry around your face, you will begin to look like Metal-Head… you know, that girl you knew in junior high who had glasses, braces, dangly earrings and necklaces? Metal-Head. And the prolific use of your jewelry will detract from your natural beauty, which is the last thing you want to do. The other day I was getting ready for work, and I thought, “My neck looks elegant in this dress. I should wear a necklace.” So, I tried a necklace, but with a necklace on, I noticed the necklace and not my neck. So, I took the necklace off and decided to let my neck be the focal point. Letting your assets be the focal points of an outfit is never a mistake as long as you’re not wearing something that will either distract people or make them feel uncomfortable.

Once I went to a party at this girl’s home, and this girl has some of the biggest, nicest breasts I’ve ever seen… breasts that could make a baby salivate. She was wearing a spaghetti-strap shirt that hung even lower on her chest than I would’ve worn, and I’m a B-cup, so as a rule, I can get away with wearing low-cut things without creating a scandal. Now, I’m definitely a fan of dating men - I have no interest in dating girls whatsoever - but even I couldn’t look away from her breasts. In fact, throughout the night, these words kept running through my head like a flashing marquis: “Don’t look at the breasts, look at her face. Don’t look at the breasts, look at her face… shoot. Can’t. Look. Away. Shoot. Don’t look at the breasts, look at her face...” She’d bend over, and I’d think, Timmmm-ber! And the sad thing is that what I remember best from this night is not her wonderful hostessing or her cute dog or sitting on the floor talking to my best friend. It’s this girl’s insurmountable rack. When showcasing a body part, it is best to showcase something non-sexual, like a shapely arm or calf, a lovely neck, or a graceful wrist. If you get to close to the breasts or the V-zone, outfits begin to look garish and distracting. You will become the girl with the great [insert body part here] rather than the girl with fascinating things to say about Proust or the girl who can make muffins blindfolded or the Goya expert.

So, this is your next assignment. Now that you have a fashion book and know the types of styles that you’re looking for, you can begin looking. Pay special attention to the purse, scarf, and jewelry sections of thrift stores. Find accessories that will play up your assets rather than masking them, and be careful which assets you showcase.