by Rita Calvert

The pungent aroma of coffee brewing. The glow of soft yellow light. The sound of steel drums punctuating our conversation.

That conversation drifts from Death of a Salesman to the lives of high school seniors.

This is my Monday night AP Literature group at Starbucks. I began the group in August as an optional opportunity to dive deeper into the literature we’d be studying. I think the first night we talked about Waiting for Godot for about 45 minutes, which is the longest record we’ve held. It didn’t take many weeks for this time to become less about literature and more about life. At first, the teacher in me protested-I wanted to talk about literature, and I already didn’t have enough time in class to cover all my material- but then I remembered the truth often repeated among faculty members at my school: “It’s all about relationships.” I know that long after my students have forgotten the difference between a gerund and a participle, or the themes of King Lear, they will remember me. They will remember the time I spent with them, what I shared of my life with them, what I invested in them. And although I get paid to teach English, the most important work I do is loving and befriending my students.

The concept of a teacher-student friendship is not new to me. In fact, I was friends with my 11th grade English teacher. There were a few of us girls in my circle of friends who just clicked with Pam, and over the course of our junior and senior years, we developed a unique friendship. We shared a common faith and common interests, and I remember sitting cozily in her living room on many evenings, talking about the mysteries and challenges of life, while she sat grading a never-ending stack of essays. I remember those times vividly-meeting her boyfriend, looking through old yearbooks and laughing at 15 year old pictures of my teachers, and watching TV Christmas specials on mute while supplying our own voice-overs. I remember talking about faith, about college plans and fears of the future, about concerns for friends in need. And I also remember sitting in her class; I even remember a few of the projects we did, but if I’m honest, I can’t say I remember much of what we studied. And yet what I learned from her was invaluable.

I learned a lot about what the “grown-up” world is like. I learned that it is possible to be single and still have an incredibly rich life. I learned that even when I’m getting older I can still relate to teenagers and I can have an impact in their lives. And the lessons I learned from her are now the lessons I teach to my own students.