Having Your Clothes and Eating Too: The Destitute Woman’s Guide to Fashion

By Ann Clipperton

Poet e.e. cummings once wrote, “I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.” When it comes to income, many hard-working individuals are, as Cummings aptly quips, “living apart” from their cash.  I have a job at a non-profit organization, and though I am not living beyond my income, I work my little assets off each day for a salary that is about half what most college graduates at corporations make.

Recently, I picked up a copy of the magazine SHOP Etc., a magazine that is chick-y for two reasons. Not only does it advertise to the millions of fashion-conscious chicks in America’s population, but this issue also proclaimed, “Cheap! Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!” The cover boasted this headline: “314 Fashion Scores for Your Body and Budget!” I turned to the page specified and realized that though the outfits were affordable on magazine-world standards, they were soul-selling expensive in Ann-Land, where I live. Most of the items featured could send the true cheapskate, moneygrubber, or penny pincher stumbling into cardiac arrest.

Comparatively, SHOP Etc. does offer savings if one checks out the price tags on many Vogue featured items: Burberry jackets, Versace bags, Marc Jacobs suits, Roberto Cavalli eyewear… And who could forget the Manolos… Manolo Blahnik shoes, the shoe of fashion icon Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City. No matter what one’s opinion may be on Carrie and her friends’ promiscuity, one must admit that that girl knows how to dress. Now, how she could afford all that designer-wear and those fantastic shoes while eating out and taking taxis and living in New York City on a columnist’s salary is beyond all of us, but hey, it’s a TV show, baby.

When it comes to fashion, many of us are real-life Carries. We wish to have the clothes and shoes or at least the look of high fashion, but we don’t have television shows with extensive wardrobes to provide such pricey ensembles.

I like to think of the price tags on high fashion items in terms of my paycheck and expenses. A pair of Christian Louboutin V-Strap Platform Sandals would cost me two weeks of work, two and a half months of rent, seven electric bills, four months of college loan payments, and a one-way ticket to Europe. Like Billy Joel’s “Entertainer,” I Gotta get those fees to the agencies, and I’d love to stay but there’s bills to pay, so I just don’t have the time. Sometimes I have so many of those bills and fees that even Banana Republic or Gap splurges make me swoon. ("I must buy jeans that fit me well. I feel faint.")

My family worked hard but never had a whole lot of money, and I have spent 24 years learning how to get more burritos for my buck. As a fashion enthusiast, I’ve figured out a few tricks for adding personality and class to my wardrobe while maintaining a good credit rating. Like Carrie in her early days of living in New York, some days it seems that I must make the choice between buying a copy Vogue or eating. But with a few tricks that I have learned over the years, I can have my clothes and eat too.

In the next few months for ZIA, I will be sharing some of my ideas with you, Lovely Readers. Be forewarned that those looking to purchase real high fashion for cheap! cheap! extremely cheap! probably need to find a really good job so they can pay for it. The fact is that with the exception of a miraculous intervention, high fashion will remain high. And while I love to be fashionable as much as the next girl, it seems that all that money could be spent on prolonging people’s lives by helping with the AIDS crisis in Africa or donating food to a local food pantry to benefit the needy in one’s own community, rather than kicking up the pavement in a new pair of Kate Spades.

Part of the reason high fashion is so high is because it is uncommon - it is artistic and innovative. George Washington Carver once wrote, “When you do a common thing in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.” High fashion gives inspiration to those who design the clothing that we, every-day-average Jolenes, wear each day. While high fashion may be beautiful, who says the hoity-toities of the fashion world have to tell us what to wear? When we equip ourselves with the knowledge of what fashion really is and develop the eye to recognize it, we become our own Audrey Hepburns, our own Princess Dianas.

This column is for those who are looking for creative ways to enhance a wardrobe. It is for those who love to the thrill of a hunt and the satisfaction of a great deal. I’d love to help you add some art and personality to your wardrobe - at the price of a bushel of apples. Really, really good apples. And we will find you some clothes that look sensational even if you don’t have really good apples.

Ann Clipperton is a twenty-four-year-old Minnesota-native who lives in Arkansas with her kitten, Francis. She has a BSE in English Composition and Rhetoric and hopes to go back to school for fashion design. Pictured above, Ann is wearing a dress she purchased for $5 at the local Good Will.