B is for Behavior
Sometimes the attitude adjustment alone will jar us out of the discontentment doldrums. Other times we have to take action. Again, it may be tempting to simply change the circumstances around us, but before we do, we have to consider whether the source of our problems lies inside us. When the problem is rooted inside me, it won’t matter how many times I change the circumstances around me; discontentment will follow me everywhere I go.

Take my discontentment with my small savings account, for example. When I look at my behavior, I can see that I do tend to spend more than I need to and that I haven’t made an effort to put money into my savings account. Even if I got a better paying job, my savings account wouldn’t get any bigger unless I consciously change my behavior in the areas of spending and saving. If I change my behavior, my account will grow and my discontentment will fade.

Research shows us time and again that things like a healthy diet, exercise, and adequate sleep have a dramatic positive impact on our mental and physical health. When you’re feeling discontent, take time to examine your life to see how you’re contributing to your own frustrations. If you work too much, learn to rest.  If you feel insignificant, volunteer.  If you’re not happy with your figure, try a healthy diet and exercise.  If you’re constantly struggling financially, see if you can adjust your spending habits and cut expenses.  The times I feel the best about my life are also the times I have a good diet, an exercise routine, time with friends, and a regular time of prayer and Bible study. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

C is for Circumstances
While the attitudes and behaviors rooted within us are quite often to blame for discontentment, sometimes our circumstances are genuinely awful. Sometimes, a change of circumstances is exactly what we need to escape the grip of discontentment. You may find yourself in a job that has no potential for growth. You may be living in a city too far from family and friends. You may be dating a guy who continually makes you feel bad about yourself. Changing these kinds of circumstances can be relatively easy and tremendously freeing! 

Don’t expect these things to magically change on their own, however. Don’t insist on a lightening bolt from heaven to move you to action. We each have a brain to think through our situations, friends to advise us, and various resources and energy to enable us to make necessary changes. If you’re a Christian like I am, prayer and Bible study are also important elements in decision-making. Discontentment can sometimes be a divine motivator intended to lead us to positive changes.

Sometimes, however, there are circumstances that we simply can’t change or that we shouldn’t change even if we have the power to do so. You can’t change a diagnosis of cancer. You can’t change the dysfunction of the family you were born into. You may be trying to change a job situation or a living situation, but you simply can’t get the details to work out for the change to happen. You may be a mom of an autistic child or a pregnant teenager.  You may be feeling trapped in an unhappy marriage. What do you do in those circumstances, when you can’t or shouldn’t change your situation?

Go back to A for attitude. You have to look for the truth and for the bigger picture, and you have to adjust your expectations accordingly. You can continue on in bitterness and self-pity or you can go through the situation with hope. You can believe that somehow something good can come out of the experience. You live each day looking for opportunities to enjoy small moments and hidden blessings. You can believe that even this difficult or dull time could result in something great in your life or the life of someone around you. You can have faith that there is more to this life than our day-to-day existence. 

This philosophy of contentment is much more than theory in my life; I have lived it. When I started studying at seminary, for example, I decided that the best job for me to have while working on my master’s degree was waiting tables at a restaurant. It allowed me to have a flexible schedule, there would be no take-home work, and they didn’t expect me to stick around longer than the 3 years required to complete my degree.  It was a perfect job for the situation...at least for the first year. Then the monotonous, mindless work began to wear on me, as did the constant stress of relying on unpredictable tips for income. I was discontent, but couldn’t imagine a job that would work out as well with my school commitments. I moped around about it until finally I realized that I had a choice: stick with the status quo or change it. I decided on change.
When I started searching for a financially stable, part-time job that would allow me to use my brain, however, I hit a lot of dead ends.  For months I was frustrated, and I began to believe I would be stuck waiting tables for good. I couldn’t change my circumstances, so I had to change my attitude. I tried to make the best of situation I had. I reminded myself of the good things about the job. I prayed and trusted that God was in control; if He wasn’t allowing me to get what I wanted, then He had a good reason for it, whether I understood it or not. I didn’t suddenly love waiting tables, but I did find enough pleasure and meaning day by day to make the situation bearable.

Several months later, I providentially bumped into a friend who told me about a new job opening at her company. I interviewed with the boss and discovered that the job was everything I was looking for and even more! Not only did it meet my basic personal and financial needs, but in my last year of school, my boss also provided scholarships to help me pay for tuition. I ended up staying with the company for 4 years after completing my degree, and the skills and knowledge I gained in that job perfectly prepared me for the job I have now. 

It’s stories like that - and I have a lot of them - that help me to deal with my feelings of discontentment. When I can’t see a solution or resolution, I make the best out of the present situation believing that every experience has a perfect time and purpose. Someday, all of our discontentment will have a resolution, even if it’s not on this earth. Faith is the component of attitude that makes it possible to not only endure those times of disappointment, discontentment, and difficulty, but also to find peace and purpose in them.