By A.J. Johnson

Red metallic paper fell to the floor as the 13-year-old boy unwrapped his great aunt’s gift with military precision.  His mother held her breath, aware of this particular aunt’s infamy for giving ultra-practical gifts. A hush fell over the family as the gift emerged, and his mother wondered why those 7-minute lulls in conversation seem to wait for moments like this.  He held overhead the largest package of double-thick, knee-length tube socks with vintage stripes she had ever seen.  “Cool, retro. Thanks, Aunt Karen,” he said as he trotted over to give her a quick hug.  His mother’s relief was nearly audible as she sighed in thanks for small successes.

For parents, the Christmas season might feel like a crash course in the art of gift giving and receiving. There’s no other time of the year with as much emotion charging the air as the stretch from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day. But even amidst the hustle and bustle of the season, we need to take some time to teach our children how to be grateful givers and receivers of gifts.  Christmas is certainly a time to express gratitude, but genuine thankfulness comes from practicing this art throughout the year.

Is teaching our children to be gracious and thankful individuals really that important?  Absolutely! Isn’t it ironic how little (if any) training is needed to teach a child to be selfish, but so much is required to teach him to share? Gratitude is directly related to this idea of sharing; it starts with being thankful for what we have and being generous with what we give.  In a culture that is crazed with stuff, we face an uphill battle to instill satisfaction and gratitude in children, but this life lesson is paramount.  If children are not pleased with what they have now, they are not likely to be satisfied with anything in the future. Remember the last time you were around a rude, self-centered and demanding child? Chances are, it was a less-than-pleasant experience. If these are not the traits I want to characterize my children, and if I want my children to be a joy to our family and others, I need to teach them the tenants of gratitude.

Our children will only learn genuine gratitude in the classroom of life. These daily lessons require not only intentionality, but also the costly investment of a parent’s time and energy. Each family will find unique ways to instill this virtue in their children. If you are wondering where to start, here are a few realistic ways for your family to practice the art of gratitude through graciously giving and receiving gifts.

Use Words of Gratitude
When our son was first learning how to speak, we wanted him to say “thank you” for meals before getting down from the table.  I think those who shared meals with our family during this season of life thought we were a little crazy.  It took a lot of repetition.  At first, we said “thank you” for him. We said it and said it and said it, and then slowly he began to say it, too. We loved hearing his sweet, garbled little “sank-um,” which was a combination of “thank you” and “you’re welcome”! Now, he says “thank you” to many people: cashiers, librarians, waiters and others. 

Saying “thank you” takes practice.  Though it may seem tedious at first, mealtimes might be a good place to start.  Three meals a day over the course of the coming year might be 1,095 more words of thanks spoken this year than last year. If you have an older infant or younger toddler, you may even be able to teach him or her to use sign language for “thank you” before they are even able to speak it. It’s never too soon to start!

Teaching your child to say “thank you” no matter what might seem to some as a lesson in hypocrisy, not gratitude. It is not. As we teach our children to use words of gratitude, we place before them a constant reminder that thankfulness is the correct response to each meal, gift or act of kindness.